To the Woman Dreaming of Love

I know you. I was you. Wondering what it I like to hold a special place in someone’s heart fills your days. No matter how busy you get, the thought/feeling slips back to you. If you could think of what to do… you would do it f course. It’s just to that simple. Family drama and the men you meet make you wonder, “Is it worth it?” Sis, it is. You know that, though. I’m urge you’re the type of woman who know you’re “Why”, even if you don’t know how you’ll get there.

You’ll get there. I did. I had to let go of everything I thought I wanted. This meant trashing lists and written plans. I was heartbroken, and I just accepted it. I left my hopes in God and off the page. No more plans. No more trying. I started reading my Bible more. I prayed until I had nothing left to say. Planned prayers turned into an opportunity for God to talk to me as I sat in silence. All while I was waking up everyday asking what do you want me to do every day.

After a while, I didn’t feel my previous desires. I knew the following to be true. God loves me, provides for me, and protects me. That’s enough. At the time, I didn’t hang out with anyone more than my sister. I would go to social calls, mingle, then go home. My sister thought I was lonely. Aside from her, no one else knew what God was laying on my spirit. I had been praying that He help me to want the things He wants for me. I felt like He wanted me to get married. Now, I was the one who didn’t want to. He>I though, right? So, I prayed let His will be done. That it was. 8 months after meeting my now husband, we were engaged. A month later, we were married, and it shook my world. Not everyone was supportive. Oh well. I would do anything to please my father. Funny enough, no one had a complaint about the man I married. He has never raised his voice or hand to me. My loved ones were hurt that I did not fulfill the destiny they thought I should have. Yet, it is my Father who orders my steps.

I say all this to say, God is not a man that he should lie. He said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” He meant that. My husband is kind and so amazing, but he was not the great love of my life. The love I have experienced from God through the journey of trusting and obeying Him (though trembling and scared) is the Greatest Love I could’ve asked for.

Love, Ann