When You Choose To Walk Alone

I’m just going to structure this as a free write. I have been meditating on these thoughts for a minute.

I’ve had some thoughts on women in solitude and a woman who can walk alone. A woman who can function independently will always come across as a powerful person. As I reflect on my relationships with other women in my life, I’ve realized a few truths. I think every friendship I’ve had has flourished more when I felt comfortable standing on my own, unafraid of the pressure of social connection. I’m comfortable standing on my own and unbending to the pressure of social connection. I learned to love others deeply and allow their bad habits to be personal and unrelated to my own. My brain chemistry changed when I read something along the lines of, “You have to allow people to exercise their God-given right to do things you disagree with (freewill)”.

It makes me think of the very first Psalm.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭KJVAAE‬‬

How many times have I taken advice that I really didn’t need from people I knew were ungodly??? I knew that I could’ve just taken a shower, journaled, and prayed about my own problems. Instead, as I became more emotionally undisciplined, it became easier to go to people and get a group opinion than to sit in the stillness that prayer requires.

I had one of those moments again recently, where too many people I knew were going through self-manufactured crises and seemed to be calling me to illicit an emotional reaction from me.* A test that hits you all at once. I am happy to say that I didn’t engage. Yet, as grateful as I am for the opportunity to exercise my newfound courage to be disliked, it’s a bittersweet moment. At that moment, I started to bring up practical truths, such as engaging in self-control even in the face of crisis. Next thing I know, the person on the other line is saying that something has come up that needs their attention.

The older I have become, the more I have realized some tests I’ve been taking twice. Once, to resist the temptation. Twice, when in conversation with friends and family. The second time, I’m always faced with the test of standing on the decisions I made with Yahuah when confronted by community pressure. I’ve learned that if the devil can’t make you sin, he may send someone close to you to pressure you or try to make you second guess obedience to Yah.

It’s safe to say that my phone stays on do not disturb, my heart on Yah, and my prayers on my loved ones.

Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. 1 Corinthians 15:33

I will leave you with the same questions I was wrestling with. Does it matter that someone is your best friend? Family? Mentor? Or if you have known them for more than half of your life? What is the cost of taking advice from loved ones who choose hedonism?

*It was one of those calls where someone wants you to back up their bad behavior or just calls to complain without the problem solving component.